Well, I'm brand new to this blog because I made a mistake. Like some of you, when I started blogging, I told too many of my IRL friends about my blog. Gave them the website. None of them were pregnant at the time and silly me thought I'd get pregnant anytime now so who needs a blog about infertility. Slowly, over the next 13 months, my blog turned from a scheme to help myself unwind into an online diary about my battle with infertility. Slowly, as we went through IUIs and failed IVF, I realized I didn't have the safe space to bitch - sometimes about IRL friends - that I needed. Don't get me wrong, my IRL friends who know about our journey are, for the most part, very supportive. But I still am PISSED OFF that so many of them get pregnant without even trying. I am PISSED OFF that I am left behind, feeling used, bruised, and beaten. So, I am starting a brand new AND TOTALLY ANONYMOUS blog where I can say whatever the hell I want knowing nobody I know will read this (or know it's me).
Also, I need a space where I can say the terrible things that sometimes fill my head. I need to be able to get them out because, let's face it, only people dealing with infertility understand them. That they're not really me, but have been brought on by infertility. I can't talk to my husband about them because he doesn't fully understand (and because he is an absolutely wonderful human). I can put them on my other blog except that too many IRL friends read it and they wouldn't understand. So, I will use this space as a place to put whatever the hell is in my mind, even if it's something I would never ever admit to anyone in real life.
WARNING: I do not believe swear words are bad words. I think they serve their purpose and I will be using them, probably regularly, in this blog.
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